In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
