Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
