uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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