Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
