I hate your face
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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