You did not just play the dead husband card again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
