Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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