you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
