Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
