No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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