I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
