I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
