wake up i wanna do it froggy style
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
