Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
