Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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