DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
