you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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