At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
