spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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