she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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