The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
