Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
