i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
