I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
