So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
