i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize