people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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