Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
