tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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