Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
