Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
