wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We're too hungover to prance.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
