yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
