also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize