giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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