We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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