It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
