We're facebook friends in real life
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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