loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
