Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
