Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
