please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
