...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
