I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
