well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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