He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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