i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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