We're facebook friends in real life
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
