Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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