peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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