alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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