Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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