There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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