I have demons in me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
