just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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