i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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