Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
