So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
