woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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