yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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