i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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