a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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