You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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