I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize