Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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