Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
