Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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