the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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