You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
