You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
