But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
