im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I would ride that face into the sunset
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
