yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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