What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize