from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
